Tormented cities. // Jackie & Sophie.

aquietbeauty:

Nothing was cut and dry, no matter how much Jackie wanted to be happy for Sophie, she couldn’t be completely happy that her friend was just picking up and leaving. Especially when it wasn’t even her time to go yet. At least in Jackie’s eyes it wasn’t. She knew that Sophie would eventually leave, but she didn’t think that Soph would graduate early. Jackie had actually started opening up to people, letting people in and now she just wanted to close herself off again because she had that gut feeling she’d get hurt in the end. Like now. At least she had Sophie for another year. That was plenty of time to get used to the fact that she was going to be here in Senn by herself next year. She wasn’t going to have the person that protected her all the time. It was fine, for now she’d plaster on a smile and pretend that she was incredibly okay with the whole thing because that’s what Sophie deserved. She deserved to be happy and Jackie was going to be happy for her.

Jackie didn’t have a clue, but she knew one of the safest things they could do that was a bit reckless was drink. She didn’t really know why she had this overwhelming urge to down cheap booze but it was something a normal teen would do. And just for once? Jackie wanted to feel normal. With Sophie at least she didn’t have to feel awkward and not know what to say or do. They could just sit there and drink while talking about the stupidest things on the planet and she wouldn’t care. It was Sophie, even if Jackie was dumb and insecure, she always told her straight out that things would be okay. And she had to believe that. Especially now. At the text she looked at herself one final time in the mirror. Wearing a pair of jean shorts that had been cut off from an old pair of pants and a tank top, she headed out towards the water hole. Seemed as good of place as any. Thankfully she’d worn her bikini underneath her clothes, just in case.

Hopping on her bike and making her way towards the hole, she thought about things again briefly. Then she realized her parents were working late that night and Shay? Well he was nowhere to be seen. Probably at the den (or so she hoped and he wasn’t in a jail cell). If they happened to drink too much, if they made it back to her place they’d be fine. If a hangover happened, she knew how to whip that gross thing that Shay drank and had aspirin. They’d be fine. But it was insanely hot and Jackie sighed. Sophie of course was smart for thinking of the water hole, it would be a lot cooler there with the shade of the trees and such. And shortly after she began her journey, she arrived at the trail that led downward, following it she looked around for Sophie, waving when she finally saw her. “Hey,” finishing the walk down, she climbed over to her and sat down. That fake smile? Yup, totally on her face right now. “How long have you been here?”

"Not long." She said answering Jackie’s question and shrugging. Sophie wasn’t sure how this was supposed to go. She wasn’t even sure how you got beer bottles opened. She should have thought about that because if they could even open them then it would just all be in vain. Then she realized that she had indeed put in a bottle opener. Sophie felt proud of herself in that moment but she was still not sure how this was going to work. She shouldn’t be nervous, there was no reason for her to be nervous if it was just her and Jackie but somehow this felt irrational, like she was in some sort of dream and not actually here with her. "How exactly is this going to go…?" Sophie asked once Jackie had taken a seat beside her. She could tell that Jackie wasn’t happy and could only imagine why but she really didn’t want to talk about that. At least not while she was sober anyway. Sophie brought over the bag where she’d packed all the alcohol and showed it to Jackie. "Do you think this is enough?" She wondered.

Sophie wasn’t sure how her parents would react if they found out. She knew she could probably sleep over at Jackie’s sober or not and they wouldn’t care too much because that’s just how Jackie’s parents were but her parents were a whole other story. They would probably talk to her about how she was being stupid and she only thought about herself and ask her if she wanted to wind up like them; stuck in a little town with no where to go because she just didn’t do enough for herself even though she’d spent her entire life preparing for college. She wasn’t even sure she wanted to go to college anymore she just wanted to get away from them. As far away from her parents as she possibly could and then she would be able to lead some other life away from everyone here. Sophie would miss Jackie of course, she would also miss a couple of people she’d gotten to talk to around here but she had to keep moving; keep doing what was best for her and not let anyone else rule her life. She’d worked so hard building all these walls and Jackie had seemed to just walk right through them and now there was a part of her that wanted to stick up to her parents and tell them she wasn’t leaving, not now and maybe not ever. 

(Source: sophiaclaywell)

Tormented cities. // Jackie & Sophie.

Sophie was intrigued with Jackie’s idea of them obtaining alcohol, not only because it was completely outside of what they usually did when they hung out together, but because she was hoping it was something that would take her mind off of everything that was going on. She was worried about college, about what her parents would think and how Jackie would feel once she left. Sophie hadn’t told them about Stanford yet or the fact that she’d also applied to Yale. But, she also hadn’t told Jackie about the fact that she was graduating early. Not this time next year but in December instead. She felt like the worst daughter, best friend, sister, you name it. And everyone kept telling her to do whatever was best for her. What the hell did that even mean? In a scenario where something was the best for her everyone would be excited for her. They’d be making plans to always stay in touch and not making her feel like she had to stay or had to run out of Sennewica as fast as she could and never look back. This is why Sophie had built up all her walls. What was the point of feeling like this? Like she wanted to leave more than anything but like she really wanted to stay as well? She was incredibly dissapointed in herself more than anything. So much planning and arranging and studying all her life for it to come to this.

She picked up the phone telling Jackie to meet her at the watering hole. Sophie wasn’t really sure about what they were about to do but she figured it was her one time to even mildly feel like a normal teenager. Sophie shoved the phone in the back of her pocket after sending the text and descended down the stairs she knew her family had gone out to see the play only ten minutes ago but she still couldn’t help but worry about what would happen if they caught her doing this. You’re worrying about nothing. She reassured herself as she slipped down another flight of stairs and into the basement, flipping on the light, Sophie could tell it looked like a liquor store down here. It might have been worth something if her dad actually collected alcohol that was worth more than ten dollars for six bottles. Sophie rolled her eyes at the thought and grabbed one of the multiple bottles of Skol vodka he kept around and shoved it into her book back along with a few bottles of beer and straightened up, walking up the stairs again and locking the basement door. The bag wasn’t as heavy as she had expected but it still felt like she was carrying ten tons with her. 

It was blazing hot in Sennewica once more. It didn’t help that it was three in the afternoon and the sun was its highest either but the watering hole was clear and cool enough that she figured they’d survive for at least a while. Her parents would surely take her brother out to dinner after the play so they probably had four to five hours to do whatever. If she sent her parents a text saying she had to study for finals with Jackie tonight they wouldn’t care much about her for the rest of the night. That was fine. But the part that worried her the most was if she got drunk, the afterpart. The part everyone always complained about; hangovers. She shook her head and found herself nearing the watering hole. From the little noise there was she could tell no one else exactly wanted to hang out there on a Tuesday afternoon where it was 110 degrees outside. Sophie perched herself on a rock, awaiting the arrival of her best friend. 

@Jackie

aquietbeauty:

Jackie was using the time wisely to say the least, busy pouring over her math homework and trying to not think about school today. It’d gone good at least no one gave her weird looks or stared at her like she was some kind of devil in disguise. Last night had led to..what she thought…was a interesting evening. But she didn’t really want to talk about it. She just kind of wanted to go back into her little bubble of socializing with Sophie and that was it. 


Jackie didn’t really like the library too much? But it was the one place that didn’t have any distractions to offer and get in the way of schoolwork actually getting done. Jackie was obviously oblivious to most of the people around here that looked down at her - or maybe she’d gotten rather good at just ignoring things. Either way, Jackie was actually pretty comfortable with what was going on around her. When Sophie arrived, she looked up and smiled. Sophie was her best friend - and really only friend - and she adored her like no one else. She just wasn’t exactly thrilled that she was rushing to get out of here. Leave Sophie back here in this town, but Jackie would get over it. “Hey, did you bring all your books back to the library?” She looked over the backpack and grinned.

Sophie couldn’t help but to smile at Jackie. She always seemed so child-like and fragile to her that she just had to be around her. She had to be as close to her as she would ever allow herself to get to anyone. Somewhere inside she knew very well that they were friends but she’d never admit it. Not to Jackie or to herself. Because friendships usually tied you down about as much as romantic things did. And Sophie wasn’t looking for any of that. At least, no in Sennewica. Maybe when she got to New York or Massachusetts. Then she would allow herself to expand her social circle. She’d kind of forgotten exactly what were polite things to do when being around other people, though. Sophie was so accustomed to just it being her and Jackie. Things were easier that way. Sometimes they talked. Sometimes they didn’t. And that was alright.

"Yeah. I rented about ten and they were just making a bulk in my room." She said, with a shrug moving to sit in the chair in front of her. She looked down at the papers that were stacked in front of Jackie and saw that she was doing her math homework. Sophie refrained from asking her if she wanted any help or something that might offend her. The only person she didn’t want to push completely away was Jackie. If it had been someone else she would have already made a sarcastic remark about what level of math they were in or something like that. "So , er, what’ve you been up to?" She asked truly interested. Sophie took out a packet from her backpack and a pencil. She’d already finished most of her homework for the week but she figured working on the book report that was due the last week of school wouldn’t hurt. 

(Source: sophiaclaywell)

@Jackie

Sophie stuffed her backpack with the books that were due back to the library. She figured if she was making the trip to meet Jackie there she might as well take advantage of it. Which was exactly what she tended to do. Take advantage of the situations she often found herself in. Saying bye to her mother who was busy polishing the furniture in the dining room, she headed out the door and down the street towards where the library was. One thing that she loved about her house was how close it was the the library. Even just as a child before she knew that she had to study hard in order to achieve something she’d always loved the library. Reading was one thing that had always distracted her and in some way an form of reading always helped a child develop better. She knew that from various research she’d done through the years. Everyone already knew that even when it wasn’t school work she was working on something. Anything. Just to keep her on her toes and keep her mind busy. 

Finally, the library came into her field of view and she smiled. That was one of the few places where she always loved to go and where you could surely find her most weekends while everyone was either out of town or at the water hole. Sophie opened the large double doors and headed towards the general area where her and Jackie tended to meet. Jackie was a sweet girl and Sophie was glad that she’d met her. She wasn’t going to let her become close to her. Of course not. That would never happen with anyone but it was still nice to have someone to see every once in a while. And besides, she couldn’t stand the people around this town who saw Jackie as some weak little girl and wanted to run all over her. She wasn’t going to let that happen. Sophie shook her head as she dropped the book she was returning off and saw the familiar long dark hair in the fiction section. “Hey.” She said quietly.